


Denial Is Also A Sin

by UlrikaN7



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Reality, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Rough Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-11
Updated: 2014-02-11
Packaged: 2018-01-11 23:21:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1179147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UlrikaN7/pseuds/UlrikaN7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mikasa doesn't know why Annie would stare at her even at the girls' showers. She's been stared at for weeks now but they don't even talk to each other in the first place. What surprises her more is that she keeps thinking about it too much lately, that her mind just seems to come up with wild ideas of its own. </p><p>She just hopes the blonde won't act on whatever she might be thinking because she will make sure to make her pay for it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Denial Is Also A Sin

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how I came up with this if I didn't even think about it. Usually when I think about something to write I end up never finishing it because of lack of where I might be going with it, and lack of inspiration.  
> I hope it won't turn out boring or too cliché.
> 
> Italics are Mikasa's thoughts.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own any of SNK/AOT characters, but If I could I would make MikaAnnie canon.

Mikasa lay standing naked right in front of the shower’s mirror from the girls’ bathroom.

She was inspecting her body, but not because she was vain; recently she had caught Annie staring at her, especially in the showers. 

It was not uncommon for girls and boys to gawk at her when she was dressed, and even in the showers when they were all girls and naked, she knew some would peek to check her out, although not in a sexual manner.

Even Christa would be caught glancing at her direction with curiosity, respect and a little embarrased.

She knew she was after all a powerhouse and her body had more muscle than any other girl trainee, even more than most guys.

Eren never mentioned something about her muscle tone or her body, so maybe he was alright with her looks. He would have said something if he didn’t like things about her, like the other time with her hair length.

Mikasa didn’t feel pretty, sexy or gorgeous or even girly; she felt normal. Not plain because she knew she had fanboys, but just normal. Her consciousness about her having a very strong and healthy body got her satisfied. She was a soldier after all, and in order to protect and survive, there was no time for trying to be a woman.

There was also the issue of her sexuality. She knew the obvious of reproduction, which was female with male, but she had never felt any attraction toward either of them. Her only strong attraction was being to Eren, but she never thought about it erotically. She just wanted to be always with him. He was the last of her family after all.

Also, she had known about Ymir and Christa, whom the former had said that she ‘loved’ the petite blonde and acted like they were…what? Girlfriends? Mikasa was not innocent anymore and perfectly knew that there were rare individuals who liked their own gender.

But still she felt uneasy whenever Annie would watch her through the steam that clouded the big bathroom, and what troubled her more was the fact that she couldn’t decipher what was in those eyes, whenever they lingered on her form.

Could Annie possibly be one of those rare individuals?

Slightly shaking her head in shame for thinking ill about her fellow soldier, she reassured herself that couldn’t possibly be. The blonde was so withdrawn to actually like somebody in that way, let at least another withdrawn person like herself. From what little Mikasa knew about her, Annie wasn’t interested in anything that didn’t involve fighting or physical activity…

Wait… No…

 _What the hell am I thinking?_ Scolded herself a very disturbed Mikasa.

Suddenly a crazy idea popped into her mind at the last of her thoughts. How could she think about that? There was absolutely no way Annie would just want to have…sex…with her. There was just no way the short blonde could go so low for only that.

But then again, wasn’t sex just a basic need like eating and defecating? When it was just meaningless sex to get satisfied, it didn’t look any different.

They were all soldiers and they could very well die the next day, be it while training or because a titan attack.

But Mikasa had no intention of doing just that with someone she barely knew, just to satisfy her needs or for pleasure. For her, having sex would mean to do it with someone she truly appreciated and whom would feel strong for her in the same way too, and for them to stick with her and not seek others. Not just a one-night stand and the next day like nothing happened and talk to each other like strangers.

Annie didn’t seem like a girl that would get attached to anything at all, least it be somebody.

The half-Asian asked her-self again why was she putting so much thought into this.

Okay so what if Annie did just want to have sex with her? She would not give her body away. And it wasn’t like the short girl was acting on those feelings. She wasn’t approaching her at all, not even as a friend.

 _I’ve got to stop with this. I only have another fan and that’s it. A fangirl._ Told herself Mikasa, while sitting on the benches in front of the lockers, towel wrapped around her. She lightly massaged her temples, a little headache incoming.

“Are you alright?” a husky -but still girly- voice loomed over her.

This wasn’t what she needed right now.

Mikasa could recognize that voice even if she had her eyes closed. She felt a weird chill course through her and forced herself to answer but without looking up.

“Yes…yes I’m fine, just a little tired.” Answered the black-haired girl with her own mellow voice.

“Remember we have to go to the storage room later to check on food supplies.” Said Annie, distate rolling off with each word.

“Yes, I haven’t forgotten.”

And with that she left her alone to disappear from the bathroom.

Mikasa guessed she was already dressed, but couldn’t hear the tapping of her boots when she approached.

Drying her body and hair quickly, she put on her black underwear and civilian clothes –which consisted of her usual white shirt, maroon sweater, gray skirt, and slip-on shoes- and made her way to the lunching building alone, while combing her silky hair with her long fingers.

Once she arrived, her stomach rumbled with the scent of freshly made soup and bread. She didn’t know she was this hungry.

She quickly scanned the tables and made her way to her usual spot with Eren and Armin when she got her food ration.

“Hello Eren, Armin.” Greeted Mikasa, as always. Maybe she would feel better being with her adoptive brother and best friend, since Armin had unusual yet interesting topics to talk about.

“Good evening Mikasa.” Smiled Armin, when Eren just mouthed a normal ‘Hey’.

Dinner time was spent calm and friendly, with the occasional Connie, Sasha, and Mina joining the table, and Mikasa could clear her mind from the short blond and anything related to her and those weird topics about sexuality and lust. She relaxed and mentally thanked them.

That was, until she felt uneasy again, all of a sudden. A little nagging feeling on the back of her mind that screamed at her that she was being observed.

At first she shrugged the feeling off since she was surrounded by people, but it was persistent and she had never felt it this acute. At some point she thought she might have gone crazy, but her instincts have never failed her before.

Suddenly, deep icy-blue eyes flashed on her mind, and she was remembered the only other person who would intensely fixate her eyes on her form.

Another chill course through her but nobody in the table seemed to notice. She felt the small hairs on her nape stand from thinking only about that person.

Mikasa mentally scolded herself again for being paranoid and thought about a way to convince herself that it wasn’t Annie who was probably observing her.

She feigned her spoon slipped from her right hand and dropped to the wooden floor behind Eren’s spot. Just like she predicted, he was too engrossed on the conversation with Mina and Connie that he never noticed Mikasa’s spoon fell from her grasp.

The black-haired girl proceeded to turn her torso and bent to retrieve the metal object, and in a flash her eyes instinctively darted to where she felt she was watched.

 Jet-black met with icy-blue and for what seemed -to Mikasa- a long moment, neither of them looked away. In reality it was mere seconds when the half-Asian had to turn away to reincorporate once again giving her back to Annie.

Mikasa’s discomfort flared once again. She had proven herself right.

What bothered her more was that Annie didn’t make an effort to mask it. It felt more like a dare.

Or maybe there really wasn’t anything related to attraction or admiration. Maybe she just happened to be analyzing her, because for what Mikasa had found out about her, was that she had a habit of silently analyzing everyone she met, including her surroundings.

Again, she was thinking too much of Annie’s habit of staring at her.

They never talked in the first place. Just some occasional few words exchanged because the moment or people forced them to. She didn’t have any animosity toward her either. The girl behaved really good from what she has seen. She never talked much, never made a fuzz, wasn’t a playgirl, and she never boasted or made stupid comments. They were similar yet different.

Mikasa remembered they would have to meet at the storage room later.

And she asked herself for the third time –and maybe not the last- why did meeting Annie bothered her.

Nobody could make her feel so uneasy before. She was not easily intimidated or scared. Then why a girl that was a head shorter, with less physical build and weight could make her feel that way?

It really wasn’t as if Annie would attack her once they were inside the room and try to rape her, and it wasn’t as if she wouldn’t be able to fend her off her. Somehow that idea sent another chill through her that this time, left her breathless.

 _Stop!_ She lost it once again. Probably one of the cons of being able to think things over too much.

She bet someone else would have not even minded in the first place.

Somehow, through all the noise and chat Armin saw her change in mood and got concerned.

“Mikasa? Are you alright? You look...pale.”

Mikasa tried so hard to mask her alarm of being caught, but being Armin, he probably would notice.

“Yes, I’m just tired and I have to run a check on food supplies later. I don’t really feel like doing it.” Tried the black-haired girl. It was partly truth after all.

“Ahh I see. I’m sorry, If only we were allowed to volunteer on chores I would have done it for you.” Genuinely said the blond while giving her an apologetic look.

“ Don’t worry Armin, I’m not ill or anything. Just tired.” Reassured Mikasa.

It wasn’t long after dinner time was over, and she had to force herself to left her friends’ side. She didn’t need to wait for Annie or anything to go to the storage; they would have to meet there eventually.

She dragged her feet to the room which was right next to the lunching building, and used the key she was handed in the afternoon by Instructor Keith.

The big room was dark, and before she entered, she turned on the lights.

She let out a sigh of relief when scanned nobody in sight. 

Just as she turned her back to the room to lock the door, she was violently pushed to it, hitting her forehead, and sharply knocking the air out of her lungs, cold hands attempting to grab at her wrists.

She was sure the assault would have made a lot of noise to any passerby, but she remembered there were none when she walked to this direction.

She damned her luck.

Mikasa’s alarms went off and just when she tried to twist her body while thrusting her left arm behind her, fleeting pain erupted on the back of her neck and made her suddenly feel very drowsy.

And then everything turned black.

**Author's Note:**

> I almost forgot, Happy Belated Birthday to Mikasa!  
> I was going to post something else for this day but oh well. I'll post it some time later.


End file.
